How To: Establish Ground Rules

If you don't keep reading this blog a thousand baby seals will die.

With that awkwardness out of the way... Welcome! If you've continued on this far you're on your way from preventing a bag cuddly little seals from dying. But enough about the sea life, this blog is about more than that. It's a how-to guide to my life. A hefty disclaimer, this is my how to... not yours, yours, or even yours. So, if you read it here it's truth -- it's me -- it's my how to to everything. Take what you want from it, take what you will from me, but know that this is "user beware" material (or materiel as they say in jolly good England) and not always intended for everyday use.

So here's a few of my ground rules -- introductions -- or just plain preliminary proceedings prior to the primary proclamations of my first pretentious prose:

1- Thou shalt be yourself.
2- Thou shalt not take the lord Gaga's name in vein.
3- Thou shalt respect those institutions to which you do (or have) belong(ed).
4- Thou shalt not curse unless in direct quotation.
5- Thou shalt write to better thou self.
6- Thou shalt keep in line with a "how-to" theme of writing (with exception to this post)
7- Thou shalt speak the truth.
8- Thou shalt better thou self and thou world.
9- Thou shalt never type thou here again.
10- Th- you shalt ____________ (leave room for improvement).

There they are; the tenements which guide this very blog. I sincerely hope you enjoy what is to come, I do too, as it is my guide and my life, and if you've made it this far the seals are safe for another day.